Masha07's "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" review (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1 - The boy who lived
11 years ago there was a man who gave special powers to the chosen ones. On the 16th July, he felt the borning of a new chosen special baby, and her name was Masha. But when the man arrived on 22th July in her, her mother's and her brother's house, when he started searching for my future characteristics, he warned that my special power is going to be very, very, very special, but dangerous. He warned that this baby can get addicted to logic, ships, cartoons, ponies, anime and magic and get crazy... So they waited for that, and that happened...

That Masha girl is actually me, surprise, haha! Hello, Masha Liebiedieva is here with two of my OCs Masha Watering(yes, her name is "Masha", too, but she was created before i've appeared in my videos) and her twin-sister Dasha Watering!

-Hi! - Said Masha(OC).

-Hi~! - Said Dasha sweetly.

This is my first in-book review! Guess why? Don't answer. We are going to review a "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" book!

The Harry Potter books make up the popular series written by J. K. Rowling. I've red the first book last Summer and now i'm reading the second book. Hah, i'm getting nervous a bit...

-Is that because after this book you're going to read that third? - Asked Dasha. - Just imagine everything like in LEGO!

-And Masha, - Said Masha(OC). - I would like to show you something.

* Masha(OC) teleports a rainbow pillow*

-This is an Anti-Stress Special Pillow, so that you would calm down when you're bombing.

Okay, let's start the review! It's time to imagine my childhood movie in it's book...

"Chapter 1 - The boy who lived".

Maybe correctly "The boy who ignores getting his friends along".

-...

-...Huh.

"Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."

-Thank you, thank you, thank you. - Said Dasha.

"They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense."

I believe in magic, because it exists in THIS universe.

"Mr Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills."

Huh, so that's what firm he works! This question disturbed me for some time since the second movie...

-But in your childhhod, you've seen everything other way. - Said Masha.

-That's called "Mandela Effect"! - Said Dasha.

"He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large moustache. Mrs Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbours."

She's spying on neighbours?! She even watches violence and sex?! Wow, Dursleys are more rough than i thought...

-There wasn't anything about spying on violence and sex. - Said Masha(OC).

I know, i'm just terryfied!

"The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere."

-Yeah, right... - Growled Masha(OC).

"The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it."

About what i said just now?

"They didn’t think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters."

Oh.

"Mrs Potter was Mrs Dursley’s sister, but they hadn’t met for several years; in fact, Mrs Dursley pretended she didn’t have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be."

If you read the last book or at least watched the movie, then you might know that Petunia was jealous of Lily, because she got a letter to Hogwarts, but not Petunia.

"The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbours would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn’t want Dudley mixing with a child like that."

Also, that boy is a Cancer Zodiac villain.

-Please, don't remember such scenes. - Comforted me Masha(OC).

-But it's true though, Harry doesn't even try to get his friends along, he's very, very, very shy!! - Agreed with me Dasha.

But he can get angry, too!

"When Mr and Mrs Dursley woke up on the dull, grey Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country."

Tuesday is getting more boring from Monday... School... I have so many things to do this time...

"Mr Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work and Mrs Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair."

And they said he's the prettiest boy in the world...

"None of them noticed a large tawny owl flutter past the window."

They're blind.

"At half past eight, Mr Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs Dursley on the cheek and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. ‘Little tyke,’ chortled Mr Dursley as he left the house."

"Little tyke" is "true".

"He got into his car and backed out of number four’s drive.

It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar – a cat reading a map."

All cute cats can do it!

"For a second, Mr Dursley didn’t realise what he had seen – then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn’t a map in sight."

Hey, the third book is more creepier!

"What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back."

F*ck.

"As Mr Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive – no, looking at the sign; cats couldn’t read maps or signs."

STOP IT!!

"Mr Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove towards town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day."

Probably for the second book.

"But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn’t help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks."

The f*ck are they walking in Privet Drive then?! I understand that it was the day when Harry survived, but muggles can see you!

"Mr Dursley couldn’t bear people who dressed in funny clothes – the get-ups you saw on young people!"

I've enjoyed this in my childhood...

* sad music*

"He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by."

Can you imagine Rowling calling her characters "weirdos".

"They were whispering excitedly together. Mr Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren’t young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak!"

Who doesn't like green?!

-Blue is better. - Said Masha.

"The nerve of him!"

If somebody does not like green, then this person will have to suffer really hard!!

-M-Masha, - Got scared Dasha. - You're scaring the audience!

"But then it struck Mr Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt – these people were obviously collecting for something... yes, that would be it."

Why would he suddenly think that?

"The traffic moved on, and a few minutes later, Mr Dursley arrived in the Grunnings car park, his mind back on drills."

Drills, drills, drills, is there some secret about it?!

"Mr Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn’t, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning."

...

-...

-...

"He didn’t see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead."

I've told you Dursleys were blind!

"Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime."

Oh, sorry, all of them are blind!

-Or maybe they just slept. - Said Masha(OC).

"Mr Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunch-time, when he thought he’d stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the baker’s opposite."

What??

"He’d forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker’s. He eyed them angrily as he passed."

All that happy yelling made him forgot them.

"He didn’t know why, but they made him uneasy."

Wow, he even forgot that he hates magic, that's why they make him uneasy!

To be continued...